


Sleepless Nights

by orphan_account



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Powers, Depression, Ficlet, Hospitalization, M/M, Mental Health Issues, One Shot, Original avengers + Peter, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-17
Updated: 2018-09-17
Packaged: 2019-07-13 10:38:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,987
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16016189
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Peter is hospitalized for depression. He meets some interesting people in the adolescent unit.





	Sleepless Nights

**Author's Note:**

> Small tw for mention of self harm and suicide

“Peter Parker?”

He stood up and followed the admissions tech. The man lead him into a small room with two chairs facing each other. The room was devoid of any decoration and freezing cold. 

“Okay Peter, my name is Phil, I’m in charge of admissions for Upstate Psychiatric Hospital. I just have a couple of questions for you,” Phil told him. 

“Um, okay. Sure,” Peter stammered. His palms were sweaty, but he tried not to wipe them on his jeans. He didn’t want to appear more nervous than he already was. 

“You reported having symptoms of depression and anxiety, how long would you say you’ve been dealing with this?” 

“I don’t know...maybe a year?”

“You also reported feelings of hurting yourself. Can you elaborate on that?” asked Phil. 

“I mean, I don’t know, I don’t really want to hurt myself, not necessarily, I just don’t like being like...like this,” he paused. “I don’t want to but it feels like I have to sometimes.”

This went on for 30 more minutes. More and more questions he had answered thrice already, once in his doctor’s office, and again in the emergency room. 

Peter was your everyday 15-year-old, save the fact that this was his first time leaving his house in a week. May had had enough by that morning—“I’m taking you to the doctors’. I’ve had enough of this,” she said to him. The doctor sent him to the ER. The ER sent him to Upstate. 

He hated causing her this much trouble, he just-just couldn’t get out of bed. He couldn’t go to school, he couldn’t talk to his friends, he couldn’t do anything these days. He managed to take a shower and put on clean clothes that morning, which was an accomplishment within itself. Hours before, he sat on the plastic covered bed of his pediatrician’s office as the doctor checked his heartbeat, his lungs, his eyesight and hearing. Nothing was wrong with Peter—nothing he could see, at least. 

May did all the talking for him. 

“He won’t get out of bed. He won’t eat. He sleeps constantly, so much that I can’t get him out of the door for school. He’s missed so much school, the office has written a truancy letter. I thought he was sick, or maybe he just had a rough day at first, but I don’t...I don’t know what to do. He won’t talk to me, he won’t reason with me either,” May cried, tears forming at the corners of her eyes. “I just want him to get better.” 

It was determined that Peter was suffering from severe depression, and needed immediate medical attention. The likes of which a pediatrician could not provide. 

“Ms. Parker, I know this isn’t easy to hear, but with Peter’s level of depression, I fear he could be a danger to himself. Would you agree with that, Peter?” the doctor asked, turning towards the boy. After a few seconds, he nodded, not taking his eyes off the ground. 

“I think it would be best if he was taken to the emergency room so he can be evaluated. This is the fastest and most effective way to get Peter the help he needs.” 

And so, May drove him to the nearest hospital. He checked in to the ER, got his vitals taken, and talked to a nurse about why he was there. Eventually, he got to talk to a psychiatrist. The doctor was a very kind lady, asking him questions when he was ready and letting him take his time. Together, Peter, May, and the psychiatrist decided he needed inpatient treatment—24/7 care and monitoring in a safe environment, without any distractions, with other teenagers dealing with similar issues. They released him with discharge papers and an order to go straight to Upstate, no stops or side tracks. 

Peter sat in the room at Upstate with May. Phil had left minutes ago, taking the questionnaire and pad of paper with Peter’s responses with him. 

“Well, there goes our dinner plans,” he tried to joke. May humored him with a small laugh. The silence returned. 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” May asked after a while. She looked over at her boy, concern written all over her face. 

All he did was shrug. 

“I’m not—I’m not that hard to talk to, am I? I try to make it easy for you, I’ve tried being here for you, but you make it so hard when you just won’t talk—“

“This isn’t about you, okay?” Peter snapped. He immediately regretted it. 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that, just... I didn’t want to talk. It’s not anything you did.” 

Phil choose that moment to walk back into the room, saving Peter from further explanation. 

“So, Peter, we are getting a room ready for you upstairs on our adolescent unit, if you’d like to say your goodbyes now,” the tech said. 

May hugged him tightly. 

“I’ll see you on Sunday. Don’t forget to call me,” May said as she hugged him. Peter buried his face into his aunt’s shoulder, not wanting to let go. After a minute, he knew it was time to go. 

He followed Phil down to the end of the hallway and up an elevator. The tech swiped his card, entered in a number on the keypad, hiding his hands from Peter, and opened the door. 

“Here you go: welcome to the adolescent unit.”

—

“Do you mind turning around?” 

He complied. He stood in the bathroom with the nurse, Maria, as she scanned his body. She took notes of each and every scar on his body, self inflicted or otherwise. 

“Okay Peter, I’m going to check your hair now.”

“Wha-why?” Peter asked. 

“We need to make sure you aren’t hiding razors or drugs in your hair,” Maria replied. “I know, it sounds crazy, but it’s happened before.” 

She handed him his boxers, jeans, sweatshirt, socks, and tennis shoes back once the skin check. The drawstring of his hoodie and the laces in his shoes had disappeared. 

They led him down a hallway, stopping at a door with a whiteboard on it. The whiteboard read “A: Tony S., B: Peter P.” 

“This is your room,” Maria explained. “Your roommate already claimed the bed closest to the door, but I doubt he’s asleep. Everyone else is already asleep. Come get me at the nurses’ station if you need anything.” 

He walked into the room, and sure enough, there was a boy sitting up in bed, reading a book and holding a small plastic reading light in his hand. He looked older than Peter. Even in the low light, he could see the dark circles under his eyes. 

“So you’re Peter. They told me you were coming,” said the boy. 

“Uh, yeah, I guess you’re Tony?” 

The boy just nodded. He hadn’t taken his eyes off the book the entire time. 

“It’s, um, it’s nice to meet you,” Peter stuttered. 

Without a word, Tony sighed and turned onto his side, signaling the conversation was over. 

Peter sat on his bed. This was going to be a long night. 

—

Light shinned into the room. Peter seemed to have just fallen asleep, he couldn’t be sure though due to the lack of clocks. 

“Good morning Peter, Tony, it’s time to get up,” a blonde lady said. “Peter, here’s your hygiene bucket. You can ask a tech for a towel if you’re going to shower this morning.” She moved onto the next room. 

The lump under the blankets of Tony’s bed had yet to move. Peter figured it would be best to leave him alone for now. He left the room and went over to the nurses’ station. 

The blonde lady was back, sitting behind a desk with a line of children in front of it. She scanned their bracelet and handed them a paper cup full of pills, then checked their mouth to make sure none of the pills were cheeked. 

“Peter, good morning. My name is Sharon, I’m the day nurse here. Did you sleep alright?” Sharon asked. 

“Not really,” Peter replied. “I just couldn’t sleep.”

“That’s understandable for your first night. If this continues to happen, you need to tell your doctor about your trouble sleeping. You should meet him in the next couple days.” 

Once the nurse was done, he left the station and returned to his room. Tony was still under the covers of his bed, unmoving. He decided to change into a shirt he asked a nurse for, he’d just have to deal with his dirty pants and underwear. Hopefully May would bring him clothes soon. The bathroom had just a curtain separating him from the bedroom, privacy was almost nonexistent. 

Peter walked out of the room and stood in a line with the rest of the patients. 

“Natasha?” One of the techs called out. 

“Here,” a red-haired girl replied. 

“Clint?”

“Present,” a boy yelled loudly, making the red head girl snort. 

“Steve?”

He simply raised his hand. 

“Tony?” 

No answer. 

“I’ll go get him,” a smaller boy with curly brown hair offered. 

“Thank you, Bruce.”

As soon as roll call had finished, Bruce came back with a sleepy Tony, wearing pajamas and no shoes. Everyone was finally accounted for. They head down the hallway, single-file, and crowded into the elevator. 

The boy named Clint jumped up with a laugh as soon as the elevator took off, like a child thinking he could fly. 

“Stop, you’re scaring Bucky, he doesn’t like small spaces,” Steve said as he wrapped his arm around boy with long, dark hair standing next to him. 

“Steve, please keep your hands to yourself,” a nurse scolded. He removed his arm. 

The rest of the ride was silent. 

Peter got in line for breakfast. He got his tray, a box of fruit loops, and a carton of milk before leaving the kitchen. The red head, Natasha, waved him over to a round table in the center. 

“Hey, Peter, right?” she asked. 

“Yeah, yeah, Peter Parker, and you’re-“ 

“SHH, no last names,” Clint whisper yelled. “You’ve ruined it, now we know your secret identity. Now we can track you down once we get out and-“

“Stop being a dick,” the girl said. “But seriously, they don’t want us giving out our last names. I’m Nat, that’s Clint. The lovebirds over there are Steve and Bucky.”

They each nodded their head in acknowledgment. Steve waved his hand with a smile, while Bucky refused to look up from his scrambled eggs. 

“When did you sneak in?” asked Nat. “You weren’t here last night before lights out.”

“I got here at 10 I think, they just took me straight to my room.”

“Oh yeah, how’s rooming with Tony?”  
Steve asked. 

The group looked over at the table next to theirs, where Tony, Bruce, and a boy with long blonde hair sat. Tony seemed to had fallen asleep again with a cup of coffee steaming next to his head. 

“It’s not bad I guess, I only talked to him for a little bit last night,” Peter shrugged. 

“He can be an ass-“ Clint started. 

“Be nice,” Steve cut him off. 

“Okay, fine. I’m sure he’s a nice guy when he’s not high off his ass on heroin, or whatever the fuck he’s been on.” 

“At least he’s almost done with detox,” Nat replied. 

“Then he’ll just be a dick without the fever.” 

—

“Everyone think of our example. Someone ate your piece of cake. How are you going to describe what happened to that person?” the social worker asked. 

The guy with long blonde hair, Thor, raised his hand. 

“You ate my piece of cake,” he grunted. 

“Maybe a little less confrontational, but that’s a start. How are you going to express what you feel?”

Peter raised his hand. “Maybe say ‘I feel disappointed cause my cake is gone?’”

“That’s good Peter, thank you. Now, how can you assert yourself....” she trailed on. 

He looked around the room. Tony was sitting in the corner, curled up in a plastic chair, reading his book. It looked like Ender’s Game. Peter smiled, ‘so he’s a geek like me’ he thought. Tony had yet to say a word to him, other than the first night. Whenever he did talk though, it was sarcastic and biting, like he was pissed at the world. 

“Tony. What opportunity do you have to use the skills we’re talking about?” asked the social worker. 

He was silent for a moment. 

“Well, when I’m talking to my dealer, my goal could be for him to give me drugs for free, so I’d start out by saying ‘Hey man, I know you love me, so you should-‘“ 

“Thank you Tony, I think that’s enough,” she cut him off. 

Their group ended soon. As everyone milled about the room, sitting with their friends and talking, Peter stayed in his seat. When he saw the social worker take a seat next to Tony, he decided to look like he was studying his worksheet. 

“You know, if you stopped being defensive and started opening up, you could get out of here a lot faster.” 

“But I wouldn’t get to see your lovely face every day!” Tony said with a smirk. 

She sighed. “Think about it. We’re here when you’re ready.” 

Peter stood up and walked around the room. He made a lap once, twice, before he got the guts to sit down next to Tony. It took him another minute to say anything. 

“Hey. Tony. Do you like that book?” he awkwardly asked. 

“Yeah, I took it from Bruce’s room. It’s good so far. How’d you end up here?” he suddenly questioned Peter. 

“Oh, uh, just depression and anxiety and stuff. Yeah.” 

“That’s the why, not the how,” Tony said with a huff. 

“Oh. I kinda stopped getting out of bed for, I don’t know, a week. And before that, I only went to school every other once in a while, I just got so anxious about going, even though it’s really the only time I see my friends, Ned is great, he’s been so supportive-“

Tony was smiling like the Cheshire Cat. 

Peter laughed, embarrassed. “Sorry. I’m rambling. Anyway, what about you?”

“Court order,” he said, still smiling. 

“Oh. That’s, uh, cool. I guess” 

Tiny raised his eyebrows, still smiling like he was having the time of his life making Peter uncomfortable. 

Luckily, a tech chose that moment to yell “line up for lunch!” 

Tony and Peter stood next to each other on the way down. When Peter moved to sit next to Nat after getting his lunch, like he had this morning, Tony stopped him. 

“No. You’re sitting next to me.”

Peter decided to comply, fidgeting with the straw in his drink. He glanced back at the other table, but followed Tony. He sat across from him and Bruce, with Thor sitting next to him. 

“Hey Peter, I’m Bruce,” the boy introduced himself. 

“Thor,” he other boy said with a nod of his head. 

“So, kiddo, whatcha think of our lovely psych ward?” Tony asked. 

“Unit,” corrected Bruce. 

“It’s not bad, and I’m 15.”

“And I’m 18, which makes me your elder. I personally think this place is better than Tower down in the city, but this one does have better food,” he replied around a mouthful of food. 

“This isn’t Tony’s first rodeo if you can’t tell,” Bruce clarified. 

“Gotcha. Well, it’s my first rodeo, or it’s my first time I guess I should say,” Peter said. 

“Yeah, most of us aren’t repeat offenders. Most people stay here the minimum five days and never look back again.”

“How long have you been here?” Peter asked Bruce. 

“This is Day 6 for me. I’m being discharged tomorrow if things work out.”

“If things work out?”

“If I don’t become a ‘harm to myself’ in the next 24 hours,” Bruce explained. “My second day I tried to slice my arm with a screw from the shower drain, needless to say I’m serving extra time because of that.” 

“They can do that?” Peter asked. 

“Yep. I had to sleep in the nurses’ station that night. Couldn’t even take a shower with the curtain closed...” he trailed off. 

“Have you seen your doctor yet?” Bruce asked. 

“No, not yet.”

“So no news on your release day yet. You’ll probably get out after five, you seem sane enough.”

“Tell him you have trouble sleeping,” Thor interrupted. “He’ll give you sleeping pills.”

They went back upstairs for quiet time once lunch was over. Once he sat down on his bed, however, a man in a lab coat knocked and entered the room. 

“Peter? I’m Dr. Fury, I’m your psychiatrist. Can we talk for a couple minutes?” 

“Yeah, yes sir,” Peter corrected. This guy looked terrifying, like he took no shit from any patients. 

They sat in the meeting room. Peter explained what was going on in his head most of the time, describing his symptoms as accurately as he could. 

“Oh, and I’ve had some trouble sleeping,” Peter interjected. 

By the end of the session, Peter was prescribed a SSRI and a mild sedative to take at night. He walked out of the room, and saw Steve sitting in a chair by the station. 

“Hey Steve. You okay?” he asked, hoping he wasn’t overstepping. 

“Oh yeah, I’m fine. How are you?”

“I’m doing fine right now.”

They sat in awkward silence for a minute. 

Steve spoke up. “You should probably head back to your room before someone catches you.”

“Oh, okay then. You coming?”

“No, I’m on special obs.”

Peter must’ve looked confused, because Steve went on to explain. 

“Special observation. I gotta sit here until my food has been digested.” 

“Ah. Okay.” Peter nodded, still slightly confused. “I’ll see you later then.” 

“See ya.” 

He walked away, going back to his room. The day seemed to be getting longer and longer to Peter, wishing he could just go home now. 

—

They watched Tangled that night. 

Nat and Clint stood in the center of the room, singing along and reenacting every scene. Peter, Tony, Bruce, and Steve say around a table and played Uno. Bucky sat next to Steve, but of course didn’t play. 

“Fuck, marry, kill: Fury, Maria, Sharon. Go,” Tony said. 

“I guess kill Fury, cause he’s too intimidating. I don’t know other than that,” Bruce replied. “Blue four.”

“Hey, you could be into that ‘I could bend you over and beat your ass’ vibe you get from him,” Tony shrugged, talking about Fury. “Red four.”

“You are disgusting,” Steve said to Tony. The other boy simply winked in reply. 

Peter placed a red draw two card on the deck. 

“Fuck you, kiddo,” Tony griped. “You’re lucky I don’t shank you in your sleep tonight for that.” 

Without warning, Nat and Clint stood on top of their table, holding hands, singing “I See the Light” at the top of their lungs. The cards flew all over the ground, and Steve looked like he was about he panic at the mess. Bucky put a hand on his arm and helped clean up the cards. The tech on duty scolded the singers and made them help clean. 

“Assholes. I’m going to bed,” Tony huffed. His face was turning red as he stomped out of the room. 

“Oh lighten up, man, we were having fun!” Clint yelled out the room. Tony whipped around. He looked livid all of a sudden, rushing at Clint, but before he could touch him, a tech stopped him in his tracks. The tech grabbed his arm and steered him away. 

“Tony, let’s go sit in the hallway so you can calm down. Everyone else, let’s get ready for bed.”

Luckily, they were sitting right outside Tony and Peter’s room, making it easy for Peter to eavesdrop. He grabbed his hygiene bucket and entered his room, stopping right inside the doorway. 

“Tony, let’s try again.”

“I’m pissed.”

“But what do you feel?” 

“I feel pissed.” 

The tech sighed. “Pissed isn’t an emotion, not a real one anyway. Anger is the only emotion that can’t exist by itself; another emotion has to be present. So, what would you think is the underlying emotion?” 

Tony never answered. He shut down completely, staring at the wall. 

Five minutes later, the tech gave up. “I’ll be here when you’re ready to talk, Tony.” 

Tony went into his room and laid down on the bed, still in his pajamas from this morning. 

“Hey man, what’s up?” Peter tried to ask, knowing by now that Tony didn’t like to talk about his feelings. Peter got not wanting to talk about what was going on in his head sometimes, but he couldn’t keep quiet forever. That’s what got him here in the first place. He wondered what set Tony off; he doubted he was actually mad over a card game. 

All he got was silence. 

—

The next few days were easier than the first. Peter got to call May on the phone, telling him about the friends, or, acquaintances he met. Peter slowly got used to his environment; the 15 minute checks and the lack of privacy, the breakdowns and the laughter of his unit. He sat in the hallway outside his room before lights out, joking with the other boys about girls and sex and suicide. He still ate lunch with Tony though, it’s not like he gave Peter any choice in the matter though. Despite that, Peter enjoyed his company. He probably would’ve sat there anyway.

Tony still didn’t open up in any group session, but he slowly offered up more about himself to Peter. The boys grew closer as the days went on, and by Peter’s third night there, he heard a rustling if sheets and saw Tony stand up. He laid down on Peter’s bed without a word. 

“Truth or dare.” 

“Um, truth?” Peter replied. 

“Do you have a girlfriend?” 

“No. You?”

“Nah. I’m not the dating type.”

“Why?” Peter asked. 

“Your turn,” Tony deflected. 

“Fine. Truth or dare.” 

“Dare.”

“I dare you to tell the truth.” 

“Wow, not fair. Fine.” Tony said with a laugh. 

“How long have you been here?”

“Tomorrow is my twelfth day.” 

“Damn. Why?” Peter questioned. 

“Truth or dare.” 

“Truth.”

“Have you ever tried to kill yourself?” Tony asked, sensitivity ignored, as always. 

Peter hesitated. “Yes. Once. You?”

“Yeah. More than once.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Nothing you can do about it. Goodnight, Pete.” 

Tony went back to his own bed abruptly, leaving a very confused Peter behind. The bed felt colder without him there. 

—

Peter was scheduled to leave on his fifth day. He went to morning group and packed his bags after. He got back his shoelaces and sweatshirt drawstring, which he put in the paper sack the nurse gave him. He was putting all of his worksheets he had gotten into a folder when he felt a gap on his shoulder. It was Tony. 

“Hey, what’s up?” Peter asked. 

“Gimme your folder.”

He handed it over. 

Without a word, Tony pulled out a marker and write down a phone number on the back of a sheet. He handed Peter back the folder with a wink and a smirk. 

“I’ll call you back when I’m out.” 

Peter smiled and grabbed his bags.

“I’ll see you later?”

“Hope so, Pete.” 

He watched Tony walk back to their room, now only occupied by one person. Soon enough, Peter’s bed would have another boy in it, but he tried not to think about. 

Peter left with the tech. They walked out the doors, down the elevator, and into the lobby, where May was waiting for him. She hugged him tightly, not having seen him in person since the last visiting day. 

“You okay?” she asked him, still hugging him. She pulled back and looked at him with a smile on her face. 

Peter thought for a moment. 

“Yeah. I will be.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading :) all of this is based on personal experiences. Interpret the end however you want. Feedback is much appreciated


End file.
